Sample essay – Topic: Animal cloning

Topic: Many people believe that cloning represents human’s attempt to “play God”, and want to see it banned. However, some believe that this can remain the existence of animals in danger of extinction. What do you think about cloning extinct animals?

Cloning has been a universal biotechnological controversy, whose primary advantage, as discussed by some people, is to provide the possibility of preserving the Earth’s biotic resources. However, I oppose against this action for three reasons as follows.

Firstly, there is incompleteness in the cloning project. Dolly the Sheep, the first instance of a successful cloned animal, was born after 276 failed attempts; additionally, she only lived for 6 years, which is just half of the expected life span of her normal counterparts. In many other cases, birth defects occur, resulting in animals’ death right after birth or terrible deformity; therefore, there is little assurance that cloned animals can live healthily.

Supposing that the problem of shortcomings in technology will be solved in the future; nevertheless, a considerably weak point of cloning still exists. The process of creating biologically identical animals decreases genetic diversity, which is an extremely vital factor in their survival. Genes carrying diseases may spread widely among the species’ population; the worst case happens when the whole species is wiped out because they do not have the natural immunity against newly introduced diseases.

Moreover, cloning serving as a conservation instruments is hardly a good idea for it cannot rescue the species’ destroyed habitat, which is the underlying problem of animal extinction. Thus, it might be more effective to spend time, money and energies improving living environments for endangered animals. This approach will ensure a long-term condition for them to survive and thrive.

In conclusion, cloning endangered species can be one of the useful methods in the study of animal conservation; however, I hold the opinion that it should not be considered as the fundamental approach of rescuing animals from extinction.

(290 từ)

Tác giả: Lê Thị Thu Hồng

Nhận xét:

  • Ý tưởng hay và trình bày tốt, đặc biệt là đoạn body 1 có cấu trúc hay, thuyết phục: Topic Sentence. Examples. Conclusion. 
  • Vốn từ vựng khá tốt tuy còn một số chỗ lặp lại 
  • Ngữ pháp rất tốt, sử dụng dấu câu rất chính xác 
  • Sự liên kết giữa các đoạn chưa chặt chẽ. Nếu trong phần mở bài bạn đã nói “three reasons as follows” thì điều này nên được thể hiện rõ ở mỗi đoạn Body: Firstly,… Another disadvantage is … Finally,…
  • Vì đề bài đưa ra 2 ý kiến: Many people believe that … However, some believe that… nên bạn cũng phải thảo luận cả 2 hướng ý kiến này để đạt điểm tối đa trong phần “Task Achievement” (tức đáp ứng yêu cầu đề bài)

 

 

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